With a safe space to express her feelings and support for her whole family, one young girl began to navigate a difficult change.
*Yessenia was seven when she was brought to therapy because she refused to go to school. At home, she was very anxious, afraid to sleep on her own, and sometimes, when she felt deeply distressed, she would pull her hair out.
Her mom shared that these behaviors began when she and her husband decided to separate. As she spoke, her tears came faster. She felt hopeless, guilty, and confused.
In the therapy room, Yessenia gravitated toward the dollhouse. Often, the dolls were “yelling at each other.” Sometimes, one of the dolls would be “missing.”
Yessenia wouldn’t talk about her family directly, but through her play, the therapist began to understand what she was experiencing. The dolls didn’t like each other and fought all the time. Sometimes, Yessenia would hold up the child doll and say, “She did it!” before throwing it across the room.
Our therapist stayed with the feelings and gently picked up the doll and asked, “I wonder if that doll feels sad? I wonder if that doll wished things were different?”
Yessenia nodded.
Then she asked the doll, “Are you just sad?”
“Mad too,” Yessenia whispered.
“Yes,” the therapist said gently to the doll. “Sometimes we get mad at the people we love. It is not your fault. Sometimes parents don’t want to be married anymore. Sometimes parents don’t get along.”
Through these conversations and play, Yessenia began to express feelings she had struggled to put into words.
In therapy, Yessenia learned tools to use when her feelings became overwhelming. She learned that some issues are adult issues that children cannot change, and that she could feel angry with her parents and still love them.
But support extended beyond the therapy room.
Yessenia’s therapist helped her family enroll in Kids’ Turn, a Safe & Sound workshop that helps families adjust to separation. She also helped her mom enroll in the Single Parent Network, while her dad was connected to the TALK Line for support. The therapist invited both parents into the therapy room so they could reassure Yessenia that none of the changes in their family were her fault.
Her parents also learned how to talk with Yessenia about changes in their family and began navigating co-parenting and shared custody.
Over time, Yessenia stopped pulling her hair out. She became less clingy and was willing to go to school.
There is still a long road ahead, but Yessenia knows she will always have both a mom and a dad who love her.
Her story reminds us that when families face difficult changes, children need a safe space to express their feelings, reassurance that they are not to blame, and caring adults who help them understand what is happening. Parents need support, too. With the right guidance and resources, families can begin to navigate change, strengthen their relationships with their children, and find a path forward together.
At Safe & Sound, we work alongside children and parents through therapy, workshops, parent networks, and caring conversations. By supporting the whole family, we help children feel safer and give parents tools to meet their children’s needs.
Every child deserves to feel safe, understood, and loved. Every parent deserves support as they navigate the challenges of raising a family.
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